Manspeak

During the 5th inning of the Jays game against the Yankees last night, the Hubby says the following to me:

"Good pitch to put the green light on. Pitcher walked the sacks full. Sacks are juiced. We need a 3 run jack."

Manspeaker

Who talks like this?! Not women. This is what I call Manspeak. Not to be confused with M.A.S. Male Answer Syndrome. The Hubby unfortunately has both afflictions. Ask him a question, ANY question,  and he will give you an answer. The only answer he doesn't give is "I don't know".

It's a mystery how one learns Manspeak. According to the Hubby, ALL men know it. Is it taught in some School of Manly Languages somewhere? Can you take the course online? Have you ever seen a Manspeak dictionary? No. Men just know it. Maybe they're born with it. Maybe it's attached to the Y chromosome. 



The previous night the Yankees pitcher got tonged on. Is this good? Is this bad? Only the Hubby and the rest of his sex know for sure.

The Hubby gives me little quizzes throughout the game. If someone strikes out (or gets a "K" in Manspeak) on his first at bat, sac flies on his second, and doubles on his third, what is his ratio of hits to at bats? (The answer is: One for two with a sac fly)


The little kid sitting next to me and his little friend next to him are vigorously shaking their bottles of pop. Sweetie, when you open that bottle please point it THAT way toward your dad who's too busy trying to figure out what a "jack" is to properly supervise you and your drinking habits. (Note to the Pop-Shaker's Dad: it means tater, long ball, round tripper, home run)








We are entertained by not one but by 2 streakers at 2 different times. Racing across the outfield with Rogers Centre security staff and police in hot pursuit. The crowd is cheering. One streaker's shoes fall off halfway across the field. Hello...did you think ahead about what are you going to do when you reach the other side? All that stands between you and freedom is a 20ft high wall! Can you guess if the streakers are men or women? I bet 100% of you get the answer right! (The answer, obviously, is: MEN)




The little kid sitting next to me and his little friend next to him are now throwing popcorn in the air and trying to catch it in their mouths. Little kids are VERY uncoordinated in this way. I end up with half his box of popcorn in my lap. Sweetie, maybe you should switch places with your dad so HE can sit next to me and I can help him figure out what "tonged on" means so that he's then free to pay proper attention to you and your eating habits. Where's your mom anyway? I need someone to talk to that I can understand.

Stay At Home Tourist

Comfortable walking shoes and a camera. I'm ready to be a tourist for the day. In my own city. Doing something different. I've been feeling in a bit of a rut. Today this is going to change!

First stop is brunch at By the Way Cafe in the Annex. Don, our favourite server, has reserved us a spot on the patio. Okay...so we've been here (several hundred times) before...but not in a long time...and NEVER as a tourist. Two different sets of people we know stop by our table to say hello. Not quite the anonymity I had anticipated. I feel a little silly about taking out my camera. But I do anyway. A life lived on the edge.

By the Way's Eggs Charlottine

I always order the same thing - Eggs Charlottine. And I do again today. But it's so good! A take on Eggs Benedict but with smoked salmon and spinach instead of the peameal bacon.

We stroll east along Bloor Street. I'm stuffed. Brunch should last me until dinner. Fortunately this isn't necessary. Greg's Ice Cream is just down the way. Okay so I've been here before...but not for years. I get Ginger - that's pretty un-routine! The Hubby gets Coffee Toffee. Both excellent. The Beamer wrinkles his nose and won't open his mouth. Is he ours?!









 
Although we've passed the Bata Shoe Museum numerous times we've never gone inside. Today is the day. Finally something I've never done before. Four floors of shoes! The Native North American moccasins are beautiful with intricate beading. There is a worn pair of work boots that are actually clay sculptures. Shoes as art.

Me and the Beamer outside the ROM Crystal

Next we pass the ROM. I have long admired the "Crystal"addition designed by the architect Daniel Libeskind. It bursts from the old original stone building. Makes a statement. I've always wanted to go inside. But don't. Wouldn't  want to push it.

Imagine the Daughter waving us inside!

Further east we come to "Mink Mile" or Yorkville. I've been along here MANY times. The plan is to visit the Daughter who has a summer job at Roots but at the last minute she gives up her shift.  We go anyway and pretend she's there. A plan is a plan.

Kitchenware stores are one of my weaknesses

We go into Williams-Sonoma. Big mistake. We go in to buy tea towels. We come out with omelette pans, spatulas, oven mitts, can opener. It could have been worse. They are marketing kings. We are helpless pawns. The Hubby contemplates a mango slicer! I fondle napkins that you can make into origami animals!







 
The Hubby has long feigned indifference at my Perfect Man poll but I think secretly he is perturbed that he is not one (even though he IS the Perfect Hubby). HE is the one who suggests we get the omelette pans. A Perfect Man point is within his grasp...THEN he reminds me that just because we have the pans that I should not expect him to be making me omelettes...AND the point slips on by...! Oh Hubby!

The calamari on the left is definitely NOT for the Daughter!

My usual - Pasta with Lamb, Arugula, Black Olives, and Feta

To cap off our day of Tourist, we pick up the Daughter and go out for dinner. Tourists would definitely NOT cook at home! We go to our favourite pasta restaurant - Queen's Pasta. Yes we've been here thousands of times before. It's really hard to do new and exciting things all day!









I know you'll be surprised (NOT!) that I always order the same thing at this restaurant.  I've passed this trait onto the Daughter. Tonight she states that she's going to have something different. She has started her own blog where she has committed to doing something new everyday. Tonight after much consideration she settles on Penne Carbonara. It's what she always orders. To satisfy her quest to do something she's never done before she takes a microscopic nibble of a crab cake.

 Another life lived on the edge. She must be ours!!